Friday, November 20, 2009

The airport of life

I am sitting at the far end of Terminal B at the airport. I'm not even sure anyone or any airline flies in and out of this empty, desolate corner. I am lonely ... my soul seems to crave the usual hustle and bustle of a crowded airport ... but there is no one around.

After a week of intense corporate training classes and camraderie, I am drained. Both my mind and body are ... just ... empty. I am 3 hours seperated from being in a room full of 30 type-A personalities. I am 3,000 miles away from my wife and kids. I am in between ... in the solitary void of a New York airport. It feels like pre-holiday purgatory.

I sit in the middle of a long row of non-descript, black airport chairs - you know the type. I stare out into the deep, lifeless void of Terminal B. It stares back. I marvel at the massive, wide, empty space in front of me. The deep, yellow glow of the late afternoon sun highlights my body with flecks of warm light and casts long shadows on the tiled floor.

It feels like I'm staring at the rest of my life - a wide open space to do whatever I want with. What shall I do with this long journey in front of me? Where will I go? When will I go? How will I go? Will I kill some time on the Ms. Pacman arcade game to my right? Will I eat at the pizza place and have a beer? Will I try on some sunglasses? Will I buy a travel pillow for my neck? Will I walk on the conveyer belt on the ground to get to my designated gate just a little bit faster? So many choices ... and nothing but time and space to ponder them.

The more important questions bubble to the surface of my jumbled mind. Will I fulfill my destiny on this Earth journey? Will I ever get to travel into outer space? Will I make it to the dimension most commonly referred to as Heaven, as I've always thought I would? If I do, will all of the secrets of space, time, and the infinite be revealed to me by my Creator? In my heart, the answer to all of these questions is a resounding yes. Every fiber of my being is telling me that if I can just attune myself to the power of the universe, I can unlock whatever destiny I choose.

God has given me many treasures on my journey up to this point - and I have felt his guiding hand throughout life. I may not always understand why some things happen, or don't happen ... but I trust the mystery of it all and look ahead to the future.

Suddenly, I don't feel so alone, knowing that there is a plan for me - and I am complicit in that plan. The wide open space and the light of the setting sun feel comforting now. I'm 30 minutes away from boarding an airplane full of people heading back to California. Back home - home to their loving families and friends. Back to the places and people that make them feel welcome.

I'm now digging around in my pocket for some quarters. I prepare to end this electronic journal entry. Ms. Pacman, here I come ...