Saturday, November 11, 2006

Oakland A's will always be "Oakland" - don't believe Fremont hype

Even if my beloved A's move to Fremont, they will still be called the OAKLAND A's. Bank on it. Just about the only thing less marketable than "Fremont" is "Golden State," so take a hint Warriors - get some Oak-town in your franchise handle - and bring back the old Run TMC uniforms while you're at it.

The proposed new "Cisco Systems Stadium" that is sure to attract transportation, housing and shopping all around it. I will miss the Coliseum and the front door delivery provided by BART, but the A's need a baseball stadium and "McAfee" is still good for football and my Raiders.

I hate the 49ers, but a move and a new stadium in Santa Clara will be good for them too. I'm all for it ... Candlestick is a dump. They'll also keep San Francisco as the team's namesake ... don't buy the political hype from Newsome, Feinstein and Pelosi. Matter of fact, don't buy anything from those snake charmers.

Here's to Oakland - the most beloved city in my life.

Spider-Man 3: New Trailer!

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Why not a '1984' Movie Re-Make?

Back in the 1940s George Orwell wrote 1984 - a story about an oppressive future where the Big Brother Government watches your every move and controls your words and thoughts. It is the basis of inspiration for movies like V for Vendetta and The Matrix.

There is a black and white version from the 1950's kicking around somewhere, but it's time for an up-to-date Hollywood Blockbuster adaptation. Why not? Tons of releases these days are remakes - and this one would sell.

I love these types of "bleak future" flicks in the vain of 'Vendetta, The Matrix, The Island, Johnny Neumonic, Judge Dredd, Bladerunner, Mad Max, THX 1138 and the one that really blew my mind: A Clockwork Orange.

Here's to anarchy on the streets and a good old-fashioned garbage can fire in a back alley full of hobos. After all, it wouldn't be a bleak future without garbage can fires to warm the opressed masses!

Monday, September 18, 2006

al Qaeda has nukes in the U.S. says Paul Williams

PUBLIC ENEMY #1 - a sleeper cell of one - Adnan el Shukrijumah - the biggest threat to the U.S. with the ability to carry out attacks on his own, with minimal support from al Qaeda's top brass.

Well-known al Qaeda watchdog Paul Williams says al Qaeda has nuclear weapons inside the U.S. - with plans to attack 7 cities (New York, Boston, Miami, Houston, Los Angeles, Las Vegas and D.C.), in a "Nuclear Hell Storm" or "American Hiroshima."

True believers, it is a time of true vigilance as these crazed, mad-dog al Qaeda killers will stop at nothing to destroy us. We must be equally disciplined and dedicated if we are to defeat this insidious enemy that takes advantage of the liberties of the U.S. to attack us from within. Remember the outrage and anger of 9/11 and awaken the unbending yearning for justice within you.

Prepare for the worst, but pray for the best - this humble writer begs you.

Consider the following links:

Eat it Notre Dame: U of M whipped your arse 47-21

Ah how sweet it is to be a Michigan Wolverines fan today after witnessing that ass-whipping in South Bend, Indiana in front of all those obnoxious ND fans.

Indeed it is sweet revenge for the last couple of years of bad losses and bad seasons. The last time the Michigan team went 8-4 in back-to-back seasons, it came roaring back in 1997 to win the National Championship with keynote wins over Penn State, Ohio State and Washington State. Here's to another 1997-like season, even if it doesn't lead to the National Title, I'll take a win in the Rose Bowl any time.

Mark your calendars Ohio State ... the maze and blue is coming!

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Nellie's back, A's are rolling - life is good in Oakland

Don Nelson is back to coach the Golden State Warriors - playoffs, here we come. Art Shell is back with the Raiders. Billy Bean and Ken Macha both reversed field to return to the A's in recent years. Life is retro and life is good!

Here's my sports wishlist:

Bring back the Warriors uniforms from the 1990's RUN TMC era.
Re-name the team to reflect it's proud city: The OAKLAND Warriors.
Bring back my boy from Michigan, Chris Webber, to mend the fence, play a few years and retire a Warrior.

Jeff George should be released and never allowed back in the NFL.
Marcus Allen should sign a one-day contract to retire a Raider for life.

Same for Jose Canseco and Rickey Henderson retiring as Oakland A's.
If the A's win the World Series, Miguel Tejada and Jason Giambi should beg back into Oakland at reduced salaries. Boston can keep Johnny Damon and Keith Foulke; Chicago deserves to keep Jermaine Dye.

If only I could fix Mike Tyson's woes and all of my heroes would be whole again.

Friday, August 25, 2006

bin Laden a Playboy toting, MacGyver-loving, raping INFIDEL ... errrrr, I mean terrorist?

What ... the ... #$*& ???

LONDON, Aug. 21 (UPI) -- A Sudanese writer who claims she was Osama bin Laden's sex slave says the terror mastermind once had his sights set on U.S. singer Whitney Houston.

The Daily Mail reported Monday that Kola Boof, born on the Nile River in Sudan, claims to have been held prisoner for four months in a Moroccan hotel some 10 years ago where she was raped by al-Qaida leader.

She wrote in her autobiography, "Diary of a Lost Girl," which was excerpted in Harpers' Bazaar magazine: "He told me Whitney Houston was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen."

She said bin Laden was "obsessed" with the singer and considered killing her husband, Bobby Brown.

"Whitney Houston's name was the one that would be mention constantly," the Mail reported.

Boof also says bin Laden not only read the Koran, but she came across Star and Playboy magazines in his briefcase. His favorite television shows, she claims, were U.S. series "The Wonder Years," "Miami Vice" and "MacGyver."

What's next - he collects comic books and lightsabers, giving me and ol' OBL more in common than me and my co-workers? Me thinks this story is a fake. Why? What good infidel-hating terrorist is gonna be all into "The Wonder Years?" I mean come on - MacGyver and Miami Vice have action value ... but Winnie Cooper? This story is B.S.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

So that where Vader was ... trying to call The Emperor

Too funny man. I live for this kinda stuff. If I could make a living at it, I would.



Sunday, July 23, 2006

Captain America Fan Movie Based On My Script

Captain America fan trailer based on my amateur script "Captain America: Patriot Act." If you'd like to read the script go to:

Thanks for visiting.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Review of Superman Returns

Thoughts on Superman Returns:

Glad I didn't read spoilers - what twist at the end.
The old-school open credits were worth the price of admission alone. Nice homage. Props to Bryan Singer for incorporating John Williams, Marlon Brando and the other cameos. Nice homage to the cover of Action Comics # 1 too.

I cringed when I saw Jon Peters listed as the producer: I expected a Giant Spider battle in Act 3, but glad to see Supes in the cape and flying. You can still tell Peters' influence with the "silent soldiers" that accompany Lex everywhere, including a mute Kumar from "Harold and Kumar go to White Castle."

In the words of Nacho Libre: "Let's get to the needy greedys" - who is this Parker Posey? She's good.

Why wasn't the entire stalagmite island partially made of kryptonite if the "seed" was half kryptonite, half crystal?

Since when does Supes/Clark drink Budweiser?

Monday, June 19, 2006

Nacho Libre: King of the Ring, King of My Heart

After watching Jack Black in Nacho Libre, I am temporarily assigning the movie as my temporary all-time favorite flick (sorry George Lucas).

This movie had me in stitches. It's a story I hold close to my heart because of my Mexican heritage and the Napoleon Dynamite-style authenticity the film-makers applied to this movie. The Spanglish, the jokes, the locations, all of it, was perfect. In my book, Nacho edges Napoleon in the end. Trust me, this movie is funny in so many ways, on so many levels, some which most audiences will never understand.

I grew up vacationing in Mexico and loving wrestling, so this movie connected with me like a Star Wars reference on FOX's "Family Guy."

Can't wait for the DVD, because it's gonna be Nacho Time!

P.S. 'Dynamite fans keep an eye out for a resemblance between Nacho's recreation clothes and the liesurely duds of Uncle Rico.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Gnarls Barkley Rules ... Star Wars Style

Any band that comes rocking out to perform in Star Wars uniforms is right up there with the Beastie Boys for me. The above photo is from the MTV movie awards.

Vader on vocals
X-Wing pilots singing back-up
Kenobi on a small keyboard/synthesizer
Jango on piano
Chewie on drums
Troopers on the guitars
Imperial officers on violins

Classic stuff that will live forever!

Monday, June 12, 2006

my SKATEY grail

After 15+ years of searching, I have found my grail. The quest is over. I will reclaim the Jeff Grosso "blocks" skateboard and live skately ever after. I first fell in love with this board in the late 80s, when my A's were were winning championships and before I was old enough to drive. I bought a used one off some kid and was very happy for a while. After I moved out of my parent's crib in the late 90s, the old Grosso board got tossed out with the bathwater.

Now, through the magic of the internet and re-releases, I will have a brand-new re-issue of this classic skateboard (although it will come from a new company with a new shape, not the shape by the original producer, Schmidt Stix).

Halleliuah, the search is over. Now ... to find that rubber, inflatable Incredible Hulk that would smash out of its plastic cage ...

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

New videogame: Marvel Ultimate Alliance ... hell m'f yeah!

For Captain America fans ... it's been a long time coming. Finally a game featuring the red, white and blue avenger. But he's not alone, this game brings together 12 of Marvel's best heroes to fight all Marvel's best villains in a next-gen RPG that looks good enough to eat. Graphics will look sick on xbox 360, PC, regular xbox and PS2. Look for it this fall, true believers!

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Art Shell back at the helm

The Raiders first mini-camp could only be positive with Art Shell back in charge. That's one tough dude the players won't be able to run over like they did Callahan and Turner. Let's see how far Aaron Brooks takes us this year ...

The Scrapper makes first public appearance

Heads up folks, the newest superhero in town has his coming out party ... bounty hunter style. Thanks to the 501st Legion.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Yo, after the new Battlestar Galactica, Showtime's Sleeper Cell has quickly become my favorite TV show. It makes 24 look a little cartoony the way the BBC's Footballer's Wives makes ABC's Desperate Housewives look conservative and boring by comparison.

Sleeper Cell is about an Al Qaeda terror cell in L.A. plotting a coordinated attack on U.S. Soil. The cell is infiltrated by a Black Muslim FBI Agent Darwin Al Sayeed. To summarize: the show is tight, it's realistic, the characters are complex and developed, there's sex, swearing and a fair amount of violence. Like I said, 24, through no fault of its own on network TV, doesn't have the luxury of nudity and swearing. However, Sleeper Cell does well to give the show a gritty, realistic look and feel - and they use the names Jihad, Al Qaeda and Osama Bin Laden, where 24 has these vague, cartoon character bad guy terrorists.

Check it out - you won't be disappointed. Check out Footballer's Wives while you're at it.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

The Circle Is Now Complete

Just an awesome photo by Chris Trevas. Period. 'Nuff said.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Spider-Man 3: Back in Black

You heard it here first, true believers! Spider-Man in the black suit, although not quite like the original black symbiot suit from the comic books. Rest asured, this living organism of a suit will be the one that morphs into the evil Venom when worn by Daily Bugle photographer Eddie Brock, who I think is played by Topher Grace from "That 70s Show." The other villain will be The SandMan, played by Thomas Hayden Church from "Sideways."

Can't wait to see the result, plus a love triangle with Mary Jane and Gwen Stacy, played by Bryce Dallas Howard from "The Village."

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Ultimate Avengers: The Movie on DVD

That's right true believers, Marvel's first full-length animated feature hit store shelves today. Not bad. Some nice extras and not too much deviation from the original comic book by Mark Millar. They had to lighten it up a bit to appeal to kids, but hey, I'm not complaining.

Can't wait for the real, live-action Captain America movie due in 2009. Here's a brief update on that from the Associated Press:

The Associated Press has published a new interview with Marvel Studios' Avi Arad in which he talks about the Captain America movie. The project is part of Marvel's deal with Paramount in which Marvel will make the film and Paramount will distribute.

"Without giving too much away, obviously there'll be a little bit of the origin and then we come into our real world," Arad says. "What makes Captain America such a compelling character is that it allows you to judge history so you see where he came from and you see what he stood for."

Although the script by an unnamed writer isn't finished and Arad doesn't anticipate Captain America arriving in theaters before 2009, he does have a director and leading man in mind. Of course, he's not declaring the independence of those details just yet.

"One of the things our movie is going to deal with is what happened in 60 years," says Arad. "Which world was better? Sixty years ago or now? Within, obviously, a kick-ass plot and all the stuff that you've come to expect from a superhero movie."

He also talks about casting the title role and what the costume may look like. You can find those audio clips on the right-hand side at this site:

Monday, February 13, 2006

Shelly-Shell is back in the hizzle, Raider Nation

Art Shell is back. He was the last choice ... but let's be real: he was the only man for this job.

Shell is a man that will run this team after practice. Discipline them with tough love. He'll challenge them and if they challenge him back, he'll strap it on if he has to. I'm serious. During his first stint with Raiders he dared his players to challenge him and offered to get into uniform to prove it. He conditioned his players after practice to instill discipline. All of the players said that when Art took over for Shanahan, the sense of family and "I got your back" Raider pride came rushing back. He never should've been fired after a 9-7 season.

But now he's back and most of all, he's part of the Raider family and he's good at relating to people. Who do you think Randy Moss is gonna listen to: Art Shell or Norv Turner? Art Shell or Bobby Petrino? Art Shell or Ken Whisenhunt? The list goes on.

This team will tackle better, it will block better and it will play better special teams. Period. This team may go 8-8, but it will play tough, scrape out some close wins and not get blown out in any loss. Mark my words. It may take 2 seasons to get back into the playoffs, but it'll get done.

Raider football is back! And now what to do about this quarterback situation ... hey if did well with Jay Schroeder, maybe Kerry Collins ... nah!

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Highlights from WonderCon S.F.

From the Bryan Singer/Brandon Routh Superman panel:

When pressed by a fan, Bryan Singer said "yes" with regard to his perception that this movie is a continuation of Superman II, in a sense replacing Superman III with Richard Pryor. Singer referred to it as a blend of Superman II and what he imagined Superman III should have been.

Depsite what's been said about the "S" making Routh looks small, he looks the part. Tall, strong, big legs and so on. Dude wasn't the most articulate guy, you can tell he's not used to doing a lot of press.

Lois Lane has a kid and a fiance - posing a big non-kryptonite obstacle. Lex Luthor will be more sadistic due to a stint in jail. Superman had to get away from Earth for a while to find himself and "Zen." The film is larger in scale than X-Men 2, also directed by Singer. He's collaborating with the co-writer from the Usual Supsects on a remake of Logan's Run.

Kevin Smith joked that he looks forward to gay undertones in Superman as there were in Singer's X-Men and X2. He kept going back to this joke again and again.

Smith showed a couple of scenes from Clerks 2 after about 5 minutes of gag screens that teased the audience. Black screens, white letters that said "turn off the videocamera," "yeah you," "I won't show this unless you f*&$ internet pirates turn off your f*&$# cameras," "F*$#* Ain't It Cool News Geeks." Funny stuff.

From the Kevin Smith panel:

Highlights included Randall ripping two LOTR nerds and defending the Star Wars trilogy. Good gay joke about Froto and Sam. The crecendo was Jay and Silent Bob with a recreation of the disturbing "dance in the mirror" sequence from the end of Silence of the Lambs. It was complete with music provided by boombox. Classic!

Kevin basically did 90 minutes of stand-up comedy in reaction to fans asking questions and trying to "attack" him for Spider-Man/Black Cat or Daredevil Target. He admitted some things:

- He's off the Fletch project after not getting Jason Lee attached as the lead.

- He's off the Green Hornet movie after realizing he can't do action.

- He was never in discussion to do a Star Wars TV Show, but he perpetuated the rumor by not denying it. He says on one occasion, Lucas didn't deny it either! Later than night, LucasFilm's Steve Sansweet said the Live Action TV Show will take place between Ep. III and Ep. IV, based on little known background characters who get expanded storylines where the main characters we know become background characters.

- Jason Mewes still lives with Kevin Simth.

- Everyone hates J-Lo, according to focus groups and screen audiences.

From MI: 3 Panel:

- JJ Abrams was easily the most humble, charismatic and relatable panelist. He showed some great action from the movie. It looks great. P. Seymor-Hoffman adds a real credibility. Apparently Tom Cruise loves ALIAS (so do I) and does almost all of his own stunts. Cruise love Abrams so much he waited a year from him to do this movie while Abrams worked on Lost. How cool is that for JJ?

Monday, January 09, 2006

The Chronic' of Narnia Rap = Crazy Delicious

If you haven't seen this rap video, by Saturday Night Live's Andy Samburg and Chris Parnell, go this link immediately. Do not die and go to heaven without seeing this video first:


Lazy Sunday, wake up in the late afternoon,
Call Parnell just to see how he's doin.
Hello? What up Parn? Yo, Samburg what's crackin?
You thinkin what I'm thinkin? NARNIA, man it's happ'nin.
But first my hunger pangs I'll stick it like duct tape.
Lets hit up Magnolia and mac on some cupcakes.
No doubt that bakery's got all the bomb frostings.
I love those cupcakes like McAdams loves Gosling.

Two no six no twelve — baker's dozen!
I told you that I'm crazy for these cupcakes cousin.
Yo where's the movie playing? Upper West Side dude.
Well let's hit up Yahoo Maps to find the dopest route.
I prefer Mapquest. That's a good one too!
Google maps is the best. True dat, double true!

68th and broadway, step on it sucka!
What ya wanna do Chris? Snack attack, mutha-f**ka!

The chronic-what-cles of Narnia!
Yes, the chronic-what-cles of Narnia!
We love the chronic-what-cles of Narnia!
Pass the chronic-what-cles of Narnia!

Yo stop at the deli, the theater's over-priced.
You got the backpack, gonna pack it up nice.
Don't want security to get suspicious.
Mr. Pibb and Red Vines equals crazy delicious!
I reach in my pocket, pull out some dough.
Girl acted like she never seen a 10 befo'
It's all about the Hamilton's baby!
Throw the snacks in a bag, and I'm ghost like Swayze.

Roll up to the theater, ticket-buyin what we're handling,
You can call us Aaron Burr, from the way we're droppin Hamiltons.
Now parked in our seats Movie trivias the illest.
What friends alum starred in films with Bruce Willis?
We answer so fast it was scary.
Everyone stared in awe when we screamed Matthew Perry!
Now quiet in the theatre or it's gonna get tragic.
We bout to get taken to a dream world of magic.

The chronic-what-cles of Narnia!
Yes, the chronic-what-cles of Narnia!
We love the chronic-what-cles of Narnia!
Pass the chronic-what-cles of Narnia!


If someone would pay me to create silly, spoofy stuff like this all day, I think I'd quit my job tomorrow. Like that new Sprint/Nextell commercial with those corporate pencil pushers bumping and gringing to Salt N' Pepa's "Ooh baby, baby" - goodness that's funny stuff. This is right up my alley ... crazy delicious. It's Beastie Boys meets comic book nerds and if you know me, you'd know that'd make a perfect epitaph on my grave.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

The Raiders ... Vince Young ... Screw the Nebraska Cornhuskers

Wow. Vince Young. Wow. I knew this guy was unstoppable when he ran all over my Michigan Wolverines in last year's Rose Bowl. I figured USC would have a hard time with him and compete down to the wire. I didn't expect Texas to win and to see Vince Young deliver the greatest college football performance I've ever seen. Unbelievable. He proved who should've won the Heisman and who should be taken # 1 overall in the NFL draft. This dude had me jumping up and down like a little kid again - and I'm a Michigan fan! He made football magical, the way a movie like Star Wars or King Kong feels like a magical ride into the land of make believe. Wow.

Speaking of Michigan they were flat out robbed by those small-town refs who didn't throw flags or know how to use the replay system in that fraud of an Alamo Bowl against Nebraska. I hate Nebraska. Hated 'em in 1997 and I hate 'em now. That final play would've gone down as the greatest play ever in NCAA history ... beyond Cal/Stanford and the band in the 1980s. Two things never happened: 1) Michigan's Tight End never lateralled back to the best returner in college football - #15 Steve Breaston - who was calling for the ball at the 20-yard line. 2) The stupid refs never threw a flag on Nebraska for having its whole sideline on the field while it was still a live ball! I hate Nebraska. That's two robberies we owe them pay back for now and I won't forget until both debts are paid.

Now to my beloved Raiders: Norv is out and Kerry Collins is still in ... for now. Hay Dios Mio ... what a mess. I say the Raiders should package some of its talent at WR to try and either move up in the draft or gain an extra pick. Either Ronald Curry or Doug Gabriel is expendable - take your pick. Here is my fantasyland wishlist for Santa Al Davis:

-Hire tough-guy head coach and surround him with recently fired NFL coaches as coordinators. For example: Mike Tice as d-coordinator and Mike Martz as o-coordinator. I like Jim Haslett as a head man, but he knows Al too well, I suspect.

-Institute the Randy Ratio. Hey, another reason to hire Tice!

-Draft a QB then use the rest of the draft on o-line and d-line.

-If Oakland won't bring back my man Charles Woodson, then spend the money on a decent linebacker for once! I'm tired of no-name linebackers. Bring in Julian Peterson from the 49ers. Dude can tackle, cover and rush like nobody's business.

-Re-institute the Tight End and Full Back this year. I know those are trademarks of the West Coast Offense, but Courtney Anderson was untapped potential last year. I'd like to see the Raiders take a flyer on Jon Ritchie at Full Back. He was a true West Coast Full back and I'd like to see him back.

-And if nothing else, for the love of humanity: CUT USELESS-ASS ZACK CROCKETT ALREADY! The guy has been deadwood for years and years and years. He brings NOTHING to the table. Anyone can rush for one yard at a time. Back in the day he lost the goal-line yardage job to Tyrone Wheatley for a reason ... he sucks! He always comes up short when we need it most: the New England Snow Job Game, the Super Bowl against the Bucs and the several times I've seen him NOT score from the one-yard line on three straight carries (sometimes four straight). I don't care how many times he did score ... he had like 8,000 chances over the last five years. He has no vision as a runner and is nothing more than an over-hyped "character" guy for the locker room.

There, I'm all footballed out ... until the NFL Draft, that is. Stay tuned, true believers.