Sunday, March 20, 2005

A pouch of "Big League Chew" in every purse

A chewing gum which the makers say can help enhance the size, shape and tone of the breasts has proved to be a big hit in Japan. The purple things in the picture are supposed to be part of the magic ingredient for this chewy miracle.

In the words of the late, great Reggie White "The Japanese can turn a toaster into a watch." Or was it a watch into a toaster? Anyway, why an NFL player was making ignorant comments about several cultures from around the world is beyond me. But hot damn, chewing gum that can do what the nerds from the movie "Weird Science" could only dream of?! The Japanese have officially overtaken Americans and Europeans as the greatest inventors on Earth. First Ninjas. Then Nintendo. Then that little electronic pet the size of a pager. Domi Arugato, Mr. Roboto!

If America is the land of milk and honey, then Japan could be the land of jugs of honey? How soon before a car in every driveway, a TV in every home and a pack of "Big Bust Chew" in every purse here in the good ole US of A? Can you imagine something that can whiten teeth, sweeten breath and make a woman look like she's nursing a baby? This is unheard of. I can just see the ads now "New Fruit Stripes by Victorias Secret."

Keep an eye out for updates from The Land of the Rising ... um, errr ... Sun.


Martini Love said...

Is that why guys that visit Japan are always bringing me pounds of chewing gum...ha their secret is found, I just thought they were trying to be nice!!

Pantuf said...

Aw baby...I know you miss my big ol' nursing porno boobs. I'm sorry. So did you order us a crate of that gum?